Stotan!

still on the workout wagon

2008-01-30T21:40:57Z

So... Went to Mt. Scott today. Did the weight machines and the treadmill. Tomorrow or Friday I will hit the pool for an intense 2,000 yds. Weight is still 144-146 (the higher number with Shoes). And I'm okay with that weight. If I were a more definitive size 8, perhaps 140, that would be awesome, but this is a good place. Maybe I will hit 140 again, but I'm not pushing it.

stotaness @ 2008-01-21T00:54:00

2008-01-21T09:06:01Z

Ugh. No exercise yesterday or today. Just lots of work. Oh well, I will run tomorrow, swim on Tuesday, and Run on Wed. and Thurs. Friday will hopefully be another swim. And Saturday a Run. Sunday I can take off. Wed is usually optional, but this week it should be thurs. that is optional since Wed is a day off. However dancing (if we go) could be substituted, as long as the alcohol is minimized.

Had a good convo with EM today. I think. Though I also don't think he gets it, entirely. Maybe I will need to clue him in to the soft, sensitive, vulnerable me. HA.

stotaness @ 2008-01-19T02:37:00

2008-01-19T10:49:15Z

So. I worked out again today (Friday). Swam 1700 yds with Eric. Felt good. Am thinking that next time I swim (Tues?) I will go alone, and follow a set work out. I do think that the 1,000 yd warm up works really well, though. SKIPS. Swim kick IM pull swim. Plus some drills, then some speed/anaerobic work, and I've got a workout. Some weight work is also necessary, but there is still time for that.

stotaness @ 2008-01-17T18:36:00

2008-01-18T02:40:41Z

Ran today. Probably 2.25 miles or something close. Ran 1/2 mile, walked a few blocks, ran 1/2 mile, walked a minute. I am keeping a 10 min/mile pace, which is good for beginning, for me. Tomorrow I should swim. Not run, for sure to preserve the shins and feet and legs and hips and knees. God I'm old. But if I swim tomorrow and run hills the next day, I'm all good, right? I have to find hills and a good running route near my new place. I have to actually fully move into my new place. Once I take toiletries, pet computer there, I think I'll be really moved in. Also, no internet means more reading, writing, arithmatic, etc.

stotaness @ 2008-01-15T19:44:00

2008-01-16T03:57:30Z

So I took 2 days off, one intentionally and the other, my boy was having an emotional time of need so I decided to be sensitive and help him. Then today, I ran/walked a little less than 2 miles. It was, at this point, a run .5 m, walk a couple blocks, run .5 m, walk a block, etc. Either way, it was definitely the full 2 miles in about 25 min. Which is okay, if I'm running at a 10 min mile pace. It was so sunny and felt so good. That's now I'm all motivated again. I knew there was a purpose behind all that "take days off" shit. Not feeling sore and stuff really is a much better motivator than one would think.

I'm at 144 lbs. Go me! I've been eating a lot of crap due to moving, but my size 29 Joe's are downright loose. And dinner was healthy, and brekkie usually is healthy just because it's whole grains and fruit. So lunch and snacking is the thing. I'm conscious when I'm eating emotionally, and sometimes I stop it, but sometimes I allow myself to indulge, with the full awareness of what I'm doing.

This evening, I was kind of freaked out and wanted to talk the boy. He called, then said he had to go, but asked if I would be okay, but really wasn't going to hang with me anyway, so I said yes. And I will be. But the fact that he's blowing me off when I was so concerned about him this weekend pissed me off. So I blocked his IM. The new apt doesn't have internet anyway, and now that I'm going to be spending most of the time there, he'll just have to figure out how to talk to me.

Anyway. Point is, I am still running (go me!). Tomorrow there will be another run, and then Thursday I am thinking swim, long, with weights. ET can meet me there. It's okay if he pays half the time, right?

On track

2008-01-12T18:37:26Z

Yesterday I went swimming with ET. Was my first swim in about a month, after a long day (for me) so I was okay with the fact that we were only swimming for about 35 min. I managed to get a mile into that time, mainly of drills, which is always good for starting. I'm currently figuring, though, that I'll have 1 day of short, intense sprints (maybe I can meet him there and weight train before hand) with E, and one day without him. The day without E would be light weights and then long, intense swims, focusing on yardage and endurance in the orange zone.

Today I am planning on running. I'm going to stay at the 2 mile mark, though I'll go the long way during my warm up (block jog, block walk) and therefore end up with a longer walk home/cool down. However, I'm pretty sore from various exertions, so I'm gonna try to take it a little easy, without sacrificing the integrity of the workout.

Okay!

2008-01-11T02:50:17Z

New Years Resolutions.

There are a lot of them, including:
-Stop wasting so much time on the internet
-Run 3-4 days/week
-work up to 10 miles straight
-Stretch
-improve posture (esp. while sitting).
-Use SPF moisturizer on my face and body lotion on my hands and legs
-Floss 3 times/week

There should be something in there about weight training and swimming, but the thing is, while I would love to develop a good base (and plan to get reacquainted with my pilates guide book), I am planning on going to the Dominican Republic with the Peace Corps at the end of February, and I just can't imagine that weights and swimming are going to be practical endeavors there.

However, in the interest of tracking, today I ran/walked 2 miles. I ran 2 blocks and walked 1. Then I came home and stretched and did abs, the eagle and pushups. Pleased to find my upper body not as week as I thought. Then, I showered, moisturized my face and hands and legs.

Now to hit the room cleaning.

Por qué no te callas?

2007-11-28T20:50:19Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7101386.stm

This article from the BBC rocks. I want a cell phone ring tone of Juan Carlos telling Chavez to callate.... heh.

Until this moment yet unknown

2007-11-23T00:04:37Z

It sucks that in order to get down to a weight that makes me happy, I have to be emotionally stressed. Just over a week ago, I found out that an ex-boyfriend died. He had an aneurysm. At age 31. And now he's dead. Needless to say, I was really really upset by the news. I felt like I had been hit by a truck, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw his dead face as I imagined it. This was not very conducive to my sleep habits, and when I was awake I felt like I was going to vomit every time I thought about it. Which was constantly. By some cruel coincidence, I started working overnights at my new job the same day I found out, so from Wed-Sat, I didn't really eat or sleep. Which resulted in my dropping about 5 lbs almost instantly. I am back up 3 lbs, but that's after really eating a lot.

ET, wonderful friend that he is, took it upon himself on Saturday to take me to the hot springs. He and his friend M brought wine, beer, and sandwiches, while I brought pumpkin cookies. And we just sat there, naked in the hot water, for hours. I've also started running and swimming again, and doing weight type stuff. I think the goal is to be 145-148 by Christmas. I'm 148-151 now. So I think that's a reasonable goal. I plan to go for a run later this evening, but right now, I have to nap so that I can work tonight.

Big News!

2007-11-13T22:25:27Z

I have a new pet! His name is Delphi, and he is a 37 inch-long, 3 year-old, ball python. I've been wanting a snake for about a year. Before that I was thinking large iguana... but snakes are just more cuddly... especially constrictors! He is named after the place in Greece where the snake oracle was located, before Apollo took over... yeah I'm a dork.

In other news, I start my social services job on Wednesday, leave DENNIS Uniform on Friday, and probably next Monday will start interpreters training. I did decide to decline the job teaching in a Mayan Village in Guatemala because, quite frankly, I didn't feel qualified and didn't want some kid who previously loved school to lose interest because of me. Right after I was hired at the correctional facility, I got an email from an immigration law office at which I applied to be a legal administrative assistant. The pay was better and the training would have been good, but I am just not sold on the idea of Law as a career yet.

F sent me a txt that I had to go online to read. Because it included a photo... of SNOW. I miss the snow dearly and the east coast in general right now. But I've started a life here...

Still On Track

2007-11-12T03:59:56Z

So today I lifted weights for about 20 min, mainly arms, back and core stuff. Then I swam 2700 yards. It felt great, though I'm tired now. And it makes me feel less guilty about basically eating ice cream for dinner. Making sure I'm pulling in an "S" motion makes it easier to catch the water, too. Only problem is that I didn't finish raking the leaves.

F called yesterday morning from London. We talked for awhile, I told him to go eat Indian Food. Then today, he txted me when he got home. This I talked to my parents about his visit. It was actually really fantastic, and they seemed to be understanding of that. But it also means that they probably still have no clue what's going on with E. Though really, it's right in front of their faces.

The main reason I called my parents today, was to ask if I could get a pet snake. I found one on craigslist, $100. That means 1) no beer for awhile or b) dipping into savings. It's also a bit of a commitment. But hey, I've been wanting one for awhile. There's no reason not to if I'm going to be here for awhile.

stotaness @ 2007-11-10T10:53:00

2007-11-10T20:49:20Z

So I guess the scale didn't lie. Yesterday, I got on and it said 149... and then I went swimming. But I also ate 3(!) candy bars. And then I got on the scale today and it said 150. That's wayI think I need to be more conscientious about not over-doing exercise too early. I did take 2 weeks off. So I should really have started with the "get back" work out. I'll do that and some drills tomorrow. Today, when I go running, I think I'll go for 1.5-2 miles. No more than that. It's all about building the anaerobic threshold.

Thursday night I talked to EM. He wants a relationship. Official, real, all that jazz. But I can't commit to that, at all, and I just realized, while talking to my friend Sarah, why not. That implies effort to be together in the future. And Evan has said (albeit over IM) that he's willing to do that in 2 years, but can't right now. I think that's where my problem is.

Back on track

2007-11-10T05:37:37Z

So. I swam 2,000 yds tonight. I'm going to run 1.5-2 miles tomorrow. Hopefully more swimming on Sunday. Or weights and swimming. I am thinking triathlon this coming summer....

Florian's visit re-inspired me to get back into cooking. I've been into asian mushroom soups.
Looking at recipes for hazelnut brittle and pumpkin oatmeal cookies.... maybe lackerli or some other such confection. I'm also intrigued by goat cheesecake and chevre chocolate truffles.

But for now, sleep is a prime thought.

Goals

2007-10-15T18:29:57Z

For the next 3 days, I will eat "clean". Fruits, veggies, whole grain carbs. I do need to finish my milk, and need to make my grandmother's birthday cake, but the higher the vegetable content in my diet, the better I feel, almost guaranteed. Yesterday was supposed to be a swim day, but I was tired from the hot springs, probably, so I just did the lunges, abs and push ups. Today will be my swim day, and Tuesday will be a run. I will def. bring my running shoes for this trip, maybe actually do the schedule for a week. Though in VT, I will likely just hike or something. My weight doesn't matter as much to me as FEELING good. And lately, I haven't been eating enough veggies, so I've been feeling kinda gross. I think that upping the veggie intake will help me feel cleaner and get my weight back down those 3 "junk pounds".

Bagby.... and food!

2007-10-15T04:45:55Z

So Yesterday Eric and I went to Bagby Hot Springs in the Mt. Hood National Forest. We drove out there, then hiked in 2 miles to the hot springs. The forest service has built several tubs and huts for people to soak in, which we did, communally, for 3 hours. We talked to this old pair of friends, who told us that we would become them in 30 years. There was a woman who clearly abuses meth and her boyfriend who fixes roofs for the Portland Public Schools. Then there was a horde of Chinese Tourists, then the Indy girls from NE Portland whose scent reminded me of a Marlboro dorm room.

Today I had an adventure at the local asian grocery store, An Dong. I always forget how much I like to buy fresh stuff there. The veggies and fruit are exotic and cheap. The fish and meat is a great deal too. I am going to Boston/VT for a week, so I wasn't looking for a lot of perishables, but I couldn't resist a few choice items.
My catch for the day was:

Plantains
Enoki Mushrooms
Seafood Medley (frozen)
Fresh Ginger
Pickled Ginger
Rice noodles
Mung bean noodles

I was tempted by the duck's wings and the chicken feet, but I resisted.

stotaness @ 2007-09-23T09:33:00

2007-09-23T16:58:09Z

So I didn't get the planned parenthood job. C'est la vie. Maybe there is a greater cause out there for me. I am going to organize my Peace Corps stuff today, then call my nurse tomorrow and fax her the stuff by Tues. at the latest. Meanwhile I'll look for jobs/volunteer ops other places. Like Nicaragua. Or the Andes. I have to be a better friend and call people while I have free phone minutes. I've been running. I'm going to do some hills today. I have to call Mt. Scott to see when the pool re-opens, too. Maybe find a tennis partner? Look up salsa times...

I think I have more of my mother in me than I'd like to admit. I graduated from college, and now I need to do stuff do stuff do stuff. Work, volunteer, organize social stuff that is slightly structured. Like the potluck, with everyone cooking. Or like the wanting to go to hot springs, or biking, or salsa. I guess the finding a balance is going to be necessary.

Success!

2007-09-20T04:54:08Z

So tonight I had a dinner party. I told a bunch of people to come and most of them did. (really everyone but corky and totoro). Bring something, was all I said, and we'll cook and eat and have fun. And they did: bring bread and beer and ice cream and make noodles and pasta sauce and I made really amazing sweet potato fries with rosemary. And Andy brought drinks and all was happy and good. We talked and laughed and had a good time. And then everyone went home. It was like 9:30. So now, I've had a gathering. I am officially home for more than just a summer. Now... I just need a slightly more permanent job.

Awesome

2007-09-19T07:49:31Z

So I've lost about 2-3 lbs since the family left. I can be happy with that. And it's a healthy rate, unlike plan. I felt great on my bike today, want to keep that up.

I had a job interview Monday. I think it went pretty well. They said they'd call me by the end of the week. It's at planned parenthood. Here's to hoping. This would be a permanent job. Which would rock.

I'm having a gathering tomorrow. I hope it goes well. Like I really really hope it goes well. One on one gatherings generally go well....

Evan called, Florian texted, Eric came over to watch Futurama (and cook and chat). I guess I have guys (though Eric isn't mine). Juggling them can be awkward though, and in the end, it's all so lonely.

I have awesome friends. We'll see how awesome depending on my gathering.

A new beginning

2007-09-14T17:56:17Z

Okay. So I think this is going to be the journal I just use. For random stuff. The anonymous, if you find it on the internet and want to keep reading type. Where I talk about all the things that are on my mind, that I don't actually tell my friends about. It will be emo at times, it will be vain at times because I'm an intense person... though generally pretty stable.

Anyway, so basically I am no longer a student. I have a job. I live on my own, in a city without immediate family (other than my grandmother). It's different. This will log the beginnings of my independent adulthood.

Masochism

2007-04-11T08:05:16Z

It's 4 am, and I'm still awake. For the second Madrugada in a row. I don't sleep, I've lost most of my appetite, and the only thing you can guarantee I'll make time for once a week is swimming. Jo-fucking-der. Due to the stress (and not my despicable eating habits) I'm now under 145 lbs. I swear, 140 has to be bottom, 135 rock bottom, and 130 the 9th circle of hell. But I don't think I can get down to 135 in 2 weeks. Want to start running agein, nicer weather is needed. Falling asleep now.....

stotaness @ 2007-04-07T00:03:00

2007-04-07T04:09:37Z

So have been between 146-147 for the last month or so. Went to Chile for 2 weeks and came back 145-146. Go me. I guess. I don't really feel like I'm being unhealthy. If I get hungry, I eat. Stress can make me hungry or can make my appetite go away. I need to run again. get my shoes back in the gym or something. Swimming's going well. When I do the running thing I can also get back into weights. That will be nice, add some power in the pool. No more cigarettes. Not for awhile at least.

Everyone thinks I'm so skinny. I'm still about 5-10 lbs more than Sophomore year in college. God it takes forever to lose weight. Granted, before the Mark debacle I was 140-145. Let's say 142 to make it nice and even. Now I'm 145 at a low. But after 2 weeks in Switzerland I was 135. I was 150 when I left, 155 when I got back to school. I felt like I had to lose 10 lbs to be at 145 which is healthy for me. I got down to 150 and then went to Spain and gained another 10-15 lbs. At any rate, I was closer to 165 than 160 when I got back to Marlboro. I was actively trying to lose weight. I wanted my pants to fit again. It's weird though, because at 150 I felt slimmer in terms of the way my clothes fit than I did at 145 before I gained all that weight. So maybe this time I'm actually smaller, inches wise? Either way, I'm a lot smaller than I was, and wearing tighter clothing (size 8 designer jeans, anyone?). However, I'm not actually that small. I think that 140 lbs is a good weight to aim for. And to maintain. Maintaining at home was easier this last winter than usual, so let's hope it stays that way. I really don't want to gain it all back.

Movin.

2007-02-27T00:10:47Z

I weigh 146. I'm a size 29 now in designer jeans. That's a size 8.
Had a plan freak out. Okay now. Going to go home, make dinner, write some history, and then go to bed.

stotaness @ 2006-07-26T23:34:00

2006-07-27T06:38:21Z

This weightloss thing is sooooo frustrating when I'm at home. I work 9-6, but I'm starving by the end, so I can't effectively work out, and I have to get up at 7 if I want to work out pre-work. Ugh. Also, my family just makes it harder. Not their existance, but their schedules and expectations and stuff. Also, now it is almost midnight, time for bed, and I'm once again feeling ready for exercise. Maybe I should start jogging during my lunch break and eating afterward? Only problem is: no showers, etc. Furthermore, while airconditioning is nice sometimes, I hate the 60 degree airconditioning at work. I don't mind my job, really, it's just been making me cranky lately.

*******end (for now) of erratic rant************

Weekly Evaluation

2006-07-08T08:17:50Z

Poor. I was doing really well until Tuesday, hiking, biking, running, not eating. Good times. But then on Wednesday 1st- I ate a lot. Like I Could NOT fill my self up on a reasonable amount of food at lunch, and then I went over to see my friend Jen at her Americorps post, but she completely skewed our plans for a quick after-work drink into something that I couldn't even do, and to top it off, I had come it to volunteer, and since the office is open till 5, and I got there at 4:15, I I figured I would have 45 minutes to work on translating this document. But at quarter of 5 she says she's ready to go, and wants me to put my bike on the bus and go to her house and then sit around at her house with her cat, who I am deathly allergic to, and wait for her and one of her friends to figure out plans, etc, etc. All this when I suggested having coffee after work. This would have annoyed me in the best of moods, but being hungry and tired from my own job, I was downright cranky and got pissy and bitchy on top of it. Which led to eating. And I was still tired from Tuesday and my ordeal with Matthias so I didn't exercise. Grrrrrrr.

And me being pissed and stressed (I haven't been sleeping well) led to falling off the wagon. I drove to work Yesterday and today, and while I played tennis wed. and thurs, and went for a walk today, I haven't been eating well. I need to find something that will fill me up at lunch time, like actually satisfy me so that I am not tempted to snack as much. I was 155 on Tuesday morning and 161 tonight. I'm sure that it's all water and I'm probably 157 or something, but it's annoying.

Goals for this coming week starting Tomorrow:

1. Do bicycle situps every morning
2 Run 2-2.5 miles every other day
3. Do lunges on days I don't run
4. Bike to work
5. Don't snack.

Joder

2006-06-25T07:40:25Z

Okay, I was doing really well. And then my brother opened the oreos. And it was too hot after about 10 am to go running. So I only ate about 2000 calories today, which isn't bad considering the number of oreos I ate, but also was NOT that good. Especially without my run. But I logged it, and will just develop self control.